All these doctors and therapies and things. Oh. Some days I'm feeling so overwhelmed. SO much to keep straight, so much to worry about/try not to worry about. And we still don't have any answers - not that we were looking. We thought our kids were just small, now the doctors have us worrying and re thinking and thinking "what if we're wrong and there is a problem we've missed?"
James is jealous. Kaylee always has appointments and stuff - and everyone's so good at trying to include him and stuff, but it's plain as day he's a green monster. Kaylee can't make a peep without him shouting to draw attention to himself. But K needs the attention - she needs PT so she can strengthen her legs and walk. We try so hard to give J special attention or things to do during it, but it doesn't seem to be helping. And Mommy needs some quiet time and space! But when I carve out a bit of quiet time that's when I start thinking and worrying!
I try to keep my own jealousy at bay as well. I'm jealous of the parents of "normal" kids who have only one doctor (Not a Pediatrician AND a developmental specialist, a nutritionist/dietitian, a Neurogenetics doctor, and an endocrinologist as well as a physical therapist, and occupational therapist.) Of parents of normal kids who fit into the smallest size swim diapers before they're 1 1/2. Of parents that have never been to Riley Hospital for Children, parents who haven't had to hear their baby scream while having blood drawn.
I'm hanging in here on a skinny little string. Trying to keep my wits about me and hold my head up. Trusting it will all be ok. I just need to be allowed to have my off days here and there.
With that - one of K's favorite meals: Avocado! (it's green!) she loves it with cheese, chicken and tortilla pieces.
Side Note: Kaylee "graduated" from OT this week!
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